I Am Back

Where was I for so long? Just not here. How am I? OK: Working my side of the street, seeking serenity, as best I can. What's up? Well...

• Right now I am content to be blogging via Blackberry while lunching alone on a sandwich and salad combo with a lemonade at Panera. I see a scratch on my Blackberry screen, and I am trying my best not to care about it, as I am powerless over it right at this moment.

• Contrary to long-ago previous posts, I have not given up on my marriage. I have set a clear and firm boundary. We are physically separated. She is living about seven miles down the road, in another town, with a female friend, working on her recovery. She had been alcohol-free for nearly 4 months (Hooray!) until a 2-drink slip yesterday (Drat!), but that is not my problem.

• I am regularly attending the awesome Sunday night men's meeting where I first met my awesome sponsor. My wife watches the kids at our house while I go there. I trust her with that responsibility - for right now.

• I am regularly attending a Monday night meeting with my sponsor, while our sons go to al-ateen in the next room. They both love it, and it's good for them. Kind of like Life cereal.

• I have a new therapist. He is my sponsor's therapist. He is in al-anon recovery as well. I like him. I see him Thursday nights. He is very direct, and helping me to get my program on track.

• I had become co-dependentally enmeshed (emotionally, not physically) with my al-anon angel Yesterday, with support from my therapist, I set myself free from that relationship.

• I want to figure out what to do about my less-than-ideal nanny situation. But not right now. One breakup at a time.

More later. (I promise!) Now to finish lunch, and then hopefully hike as the rain subsides....